PARTNER ASSAULT RESPONSE PROGRAM
The partner assault response program (PAR) is a specialized educational/counselling program for individuals who have been physically violent and/or emotionally abusive or controlling towards a spouse or intimate partner.
In Ontario, PAR programs are part of the Domestic Violence Court Program. This initiative provides a coordinated criminal justice system response to domestic violence. Following a guilty plea or a finding of guilt, a Judge may order the offender to attend counselling as a condition of probation, bail or other court order.
The PAR program provides 16 group sessions. The program is not an anger management program. Most PAR client have only been violent toward a partner. The program provides supports and outreach to the victim and the present partner of a group participant. The program is audited to ensure compliance with provincial standards.
PAR program staff are professionals who will treat clients with respect. A participant will be challenged to take responsibility for their behaviour. A client will learn what abuse is, and how it affects their partner and children; that they make the choice to be abusive; how beliefs and attitudes have used to justify abusive behaviour; and different ways to handle conflict.
What Clients Have Said About the PAR Program:
“I never realized how much garbage I carried in my life. I always thought of myself as a perfect partner and parent and yet I had abuse issues in my life I didn’t event think existed.”
“At first I found it very one-sided but after a while I clearly saw the reason for this. Our partners are not perfect but we are the ones with the abuse problem, the attitude.”
“At first I felt like the victim for having to go to classes for abusing someone. Now I will be known as someone that never abused anyone after this program.”
It is important to state that not all clients will stop their abusive behaviour. Attending a program is not a guarantee of safety.
To learn more about the PAR program in our area, please call the number below. You will get information about how to register for the program, how much it costs, who is eligible, etc.
United Chiefs and Councils of Manitoulin
#58 – Hwy 551, P.O. Box 275
M’Chigeeng First Nation, Ontario P0P 1G0
Tel: 705-377-5307
Fax: 705-377-5309
Domestic Violence
With more domestic violence legislation occurring each year, domestic violence is no longer a private and secret matter within the home. We all know it damages the entire community. Not only does it negatively affect the victim and the abuser, but the kids who see and hear what goes on. Most times the children witness the abuse, and they will most likely continue this cycle if communities do not support the families with a comprehensive strategy to educate community members about domestic violence.
Statistics have reported that a woman experiences about 35 incidents of abuse before reaching out for help. This could be in the form of reporting to the police, or a local service provider such as the women’s shelter.
Domestic violence can have several meanings, depending on which agency is speaking about the problem. The definition for law enforcement is “domestic violence is any use of physical or sexual force, actual or threatened, in an intimate relationship including emotional/psychological abuse or harassing behaviour.” Although both women and men can be victims of domestic violence, the overwhelming majority of this violence involves men abusing women.
Intimate relationships include those between the opposite-sex and same-sex partners. These relationships vary in duration and legal formality, and include current and former dating, common-law and married couples.
Incidents in the Criminal Code of Canada include but are not limited to homicide, assault, sexual assault, threatening death or bodily harm, forcible confinement, harassment/stalking, abduction, breaches of court orders and property-related offences.
Domestic Violence can occur in all age groups, socioeconomic, educational, occupational and religious groups; it occurs within an intimate relationship and typically happens repeatedly and can involve different types of abuse-physical, psychological, emotional and economic abuse and using the children; it is used to intimidate, humiliate, or frighten victims as a systematic way of maintaining power and control over them (includes the children even if not assaulted); it is abusive behaviour that in most cases is learned - the cycle of violence continues when children witness abuse; it is caused by the abuser, not the victim or the relationship.
We all make choices.
Healthy Relationships- Are you in one?
A healthy relationship doesn’t make you feel miserable. “Love” shouldn’t make you feel bad. It shouldn’t hurt to love your partner. No one deserves to be slapped around, choked or thrown against the wall because supper wasn’t cooked on time, or because the baby is crying. Is that what you signed up for? It’s not acceptable. Society does not accept that and neither should you.
Are you being isolated, not allowed to work, visit friends or family? Does someone prevent you from doing these things? It is not acceptable.
Toxic love can result in relentless anxiety about the one who holds your life, hopes, and well-being in the palm of their hands. Obsessive love causes possessiveness, jealousy, clinging, whining and poor choices. We all need our space from each other otherwise we may feel suffocated in our relationships.
A healthy relationship can be examples like…
- We are happy with one another just as we are…I don’t have to change my partner;
- We listen to each other and care about what each other has to say;
- We have room to be an individuals inside our relationship as well as a couple; There’s room for both;
- We rely on each other because we value this relationship;
- We communicate and share with each other;
- We have honesty, kindness and sensitivity to each others feelings;
- We expect reality from each other, not a fantasy we’ve created in our minds.
Can you think of other examples of a healthy relationship? Or are these examples a surprise to you?